Dating for Compatibility
Many people believe it is important to find a mate and settle down. They want a long term relationship, and they believe it is just a matter of searching. They go out on dates simply to see if the person is a possible mate. While this may seem like a good idea, it does not always work out. Many of these people are so focused they make a bad first impression. Even if the two are very compatible, the pressure may be too much for the other person.
Long term relationships do not develop instantly, but serious seekers seem to forget this. They want to go on one date and establish a relationship. Even if the other person is seeking a relationship, the intensity might make them feel awkward or trapped. The focused person looks needy and can appear obsessed. Those seeking a long term relationship will generally dismiss needy people because they want a balanced relationship.
The goal of any first date should be having a good time together and learning a little about each other. Both people should have this in mind when the date begins. This date will still be a bit awkward, and that cannot be changed. The couple still does not know each other and must take the time to learn facts and feelings. Even discussing the type of relationship they may be seeking is much too serious of a subject for the first date, and both people should be aware of this fact.
Keeping the conversation and atmosphere light will help the couple establish whether or not continued dating should be their goal. Being able to put off conversation about relationship goals is a good way to encourage each person to take their time in making up their mind about future dates. Only then will they be able to decide whether or not they should continue to see each other.